Tag Archives: ‘Cool’

“Hey you, on that fixed gear bike. You’re a twat.”

With the overdue arrival of dub step, smatterings of fixed gear bicycles and American style coffee shops – South London has officially become ‘Cool’.

And after living north of the river, suffering years of over-priced rooms in sprawling shanty towns and spending miserable mornings shuffling down the platform at Bethnal Green, I’ve leapt over the border.

I now live in a notorious neighbourhood where the West Indian population was once the dominant race.

Now, my flat and the people I live with are ace, but it’s hard not to note that the place is run by smug PR boys and marketing girls and other equally annoying people clad in Reiss and Abercrombie. It’s become a casualty of ‘Cool London’

Once vibrant, bohemian and gritty, the area where I live is a place where ‘organic’ has become a byword for food and not weed and skinny jeans and Mac Book Pros outnumber tracksuit bottoms and stolen iPods.

To many in my area, Starbucks means coffee and WiFi and not sweet bread and Rubicon, and new branches of Toni and Guy are forcing the weave wearing women of my ‘endz’ to contact the Peckham branch of the Black Panthers to get a petition together.

Don’t get me wrong, I love nothing more than getting some questionably cheap Morley’s chicken, served by an illegal who can barely count my change from a fiver.

Hell, I don’t even mind being screwed by Yardies at the bus stop after they’ve caught me staring at their blonde hair/gold teeth/white jeans/Ed Hardy ensemble. Really, I don’t mind.

But when I find myself slow-clapping people on fixed gear bicycles, I know there’s something deeply wrong.

This. Is. Not Cool – Fact. (Pic courtesy of www.lfgss.com)

Many people describe my area as having ‘great bars’ and being ‘so close to town.’

Yeah that’s great.

But London was and is a place of diversity and character; where you can go from north to south and still be amazed at the sights and sounds.

Identikit neighbourhoods are boring. Having lived in Hackney, Hoxton and Dalston are full of little middle class boys and girls from the ‘burbs, who jump on the train to London to live in poverty stricken areas, wear designer cast-offs and have stupid haircuts.

Why do they do it?

Because they think it’s ‘cool’

A word from the wise: Stop trying to make these once idiosyncratic spaces like carbon copies of your suburban Surrey towns. Go away and take your fixed gear bicycles with you.

♫ A Tribe Called Quest – ‘Award Tour’

Tagged , , , , , ,

“And they played dubstep. It was so sick.”

“Oh my god, I’ve just moved to Clapham and it’s like, well sick.

Like, there are so many bars and like, everyone’s so cool.

I’m living with my mates Simon, Hugh and Benedict. We’re so close to the Common. Like literally.

Simon and I went on our gap year together to South America. We taught kids football and helped build a school. It was so cool.

Just the other day I was walking down Northcote Road and like saw these cool people and I kinda figured that they lived in Clapham, cos of the way they were dressed.

Like for the guys there’s this unofficial uniform; Abercrombie and Fitch polos with cargo shorts, teamed with Havianas. Even though it was kinda cold and like, everyone was wearing capes and snoods, it was still, like well cool.

And the girls are so HOT! You can tell they’re from Clapham. I mean, I was walking along Lavender Hill when I saw these three hot girls.

They’ve really embraced this urban, shave-half-your-hair-off thing. They still looked pretty hot.

Clapham’s such a cool place to live. There’s so much going on and it’s like, so close to central. Like, literally 20 minutes.

We’re close to like Balham (I’ve heard there’s this really cool pub. It’s called the Balham Tup) me, Simon, Hugh and Benedict are so going to watch the rugby there).

Brixton’s just down the road too. (It’s so gritty. There are so many Rastafarians with like, dreadlocks) It’s so diverse. Clapham’s really cosmopolitan as well though.

Like we went to Infernos last night (oh my god it was so good, they played so much dubstep. It was so sick. And, like there were so many people from Clapham there. Literally)

Afterwards, Simon chundered in the street (talk about an epic Fail!) then we went into Shalamar, probably the most famous chicken takeaway in Clapham, and got talking to this guy Ali.

He’s said Clapham’s really diverse. He’s been working at Shalamar for like 10 years. He was cool.

I so can’t wait for the summer, it’s gonna be like, so cool. I can’t wait to like, sit on the Common with a bottle of wine and some really hot girls. It’s gonna be epic.

Oh my god yeah, I’ve just like, got a job! I’m working in PR! It’s in Oxford Circus. It’s gonna be so cool.

Oh my god, I absolutely love living in Clapham. It’s just so cool.”

♫ Pras Feat ODB & Mya – Ghetto Superstar

Tagged , ,
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 398 other followers