Monthly Archives: June 2010

Big Brother is watching you…but are you watching him?

A professional Beyoncé look-a-like, a squatting filmmaker and a Christian minister who believes in UFOs and aliens are just some of the ‘mad cap’ contestants to walk through the famous sliding doors.

It can only mean one thing. Big Brother is back. 

For the 11th and final time, the ‘Summer of Bruv’ looks set to introduce us to a bunch of fame-hungry and talentless wannabes, desperate to be part of a cult that personified the term ‘fifteen minutes of fame’.

Take a Bow: After 10 years at the top, it’s curtains for Channel 4′s flagship reality show.

From glitzy film premiers to promo events or spilling out of classy West End establishments in front of the paps, this parading posse will be looking to milk the teats of the great reality cash cow for one last time.  

When Big Brother burst onto our screens 10 years ago, it kicked off a decade of headlines and became the first show this century to transcend genres, ages and races.

It captured the attention of the nation and was discussed in both playgrounds and boardrooms across the land. It garnered press coverage that would make Kate Moss proud and a high audience participation that saw a shift from the Lad/Ladette culture and post-pub TV of the late 1990s to around-the-clock viewership.

Forget about Beatlemania and Girl Power, Big Brother was the behemoth of reality TV. A gargantuan vehicle that parked up in our living rooms and bought a parking ticket that lasted a decade.

The concept of Big Brother was truly ground-breaking; the idea of putting 10 strangers in a house, filming their every move as the public looked on like spectators in a hospital theatre was bizarre. But it worked.

Without a doubt, BB1 was compelling TV. Looking back, it seemed tame;  Anna, the lesbian, skateboarding nun; Craig, the Scouse builder who had a penchant for starting every sentence with ‘Errrr’; Caroline, the mad Brummie with even madder lip liner that made her look like she had a Joker’s smile.

It made ‘stars’ out of the contestants. Nicola released a single (which flopped), Mel had her own dating show, Nick wrote a book, got papped with Brad Pitt and Guy Richie and took his cash and bowed out of the spotlight gracefully. The show’s winner Craig, after giving his prize fund to a sick girl, is now a successful TV D.I.Y. pundit and producer. Even Marjorie became the most famous chicken in Britain.

The tabloid press had not seen anything like this before and were quick to cash in on this growing TV medium. Even the broadsheets had their say.

When the second series of BB came around in 2001, it failed to stay faithful to its pioneering predecessor; the house was more glossy, the housemates were more extrovert and even Davina upped her game; her catchphrases - ‘Big Brother house, this is Davina. You are live on Channel 4, please do not swear’ – quickly became a part of British popular culture.

Many have argued that it kick started Chav TV - where wannabes watched equally desperate wannabes sell their souls and clamour for their fifteen minutes of fame. It gave Heat magazine a new focus; before, when it launched in 1999, it was a struggling entertainment title. By 2001, Heat styled itself as the official Big Brother magazine. It reached its peak - shifting 500,000 copies a week - and became the first port-of-call for the previous week’s evictee to share their BB secrets in return for a nice tidy cheque.

Year after year, as the series was recommissioned, the show became ever more outlandish and should have been renamed “Big Brother’s Bigger and More Embarrassing Older Brother.” The format was changed and reinvented, and we saw secret gardens, bedsits, tree houses, celeb editions and a really crap teen version.

Who can forget the Jungle Cats, Victor and Jason in BB5, and the infamous ‘Fight Night’? Makosi and her skillful game-playing in BB6? Or Nicki in BB7, screaming and stomping her way into the nation’s psyche? What about BB4, dubbed ‘BB Snore’, where a fish farmer from the Orkney’s scooped the £70,000 prize or the gem that was BB3 -  a series that introduced the loyal viewership to Jade ‘Am I Minging’ Goody- the ultimate reality star whose downfall was as quick as her ascent.

There was no doubt that the Celebrity edition in 2007 was the beginning of the end. Jade Goody and her harem –  Danielle Lloyd, Jo O’Meara and Goody’s then-boyfriend Jack Tweed – shamefully left a sour taste in the mouths of the nation as they subjected Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty to playground taunts and showed viewers that explicit bigotry still exists.

Goody’s tirade about the Oxo cube and the chicken was easily one of the most uncomfortable TV moments in broadcasting history. The furore it created went worldwide and killed the career of Goody. But if anything positive came from it, it is this: When representing reality, you can use material objects and inferred psychological techniques under the scrutiny of CCTV to encourage certain behaviours, but no matter how things are edited or put together and made to look like a microcosm of the world, the animalistic, psychological nature of human behaviour will always shine through.

Subsequent series’ failed to capture audiences and ratings have been on the slide. When it was announced that the series was to end this year, there was a collective sigh; the show that had helped to define the noughties was finally being put to bed.

Had it run its course? Yes. 

Did the egos of self-proclaimed ‘wacky’ housemates, coupled with the hunger for higher ratings, shift the show from its original concept to trashy, tabloid TV? Yep.

But can we deny its influence on a medium that has since spawned a thousand genres and changed the face of modern broadcasting and audience participation? No, No and No again. 

Big Brother; I may no longer be watching you, but when I did, boy, was it fun. I’ve laughed, cringed and wanted to throw my remote at the TV on numerous occasions - sometimes all at once.  So for that, I thank you.

♫ Slum Village – Tainted

Tagged , , , , , , ,

Rule No. 87: Losing your cool in public is not cool.

Losing your temper in front of people is not cool but deeply embarrassing. Another lesson learnt the other day has encouraged this post.

After a tiring week, which saw me work the equivalent of 56 hours, of which just 24 were paid, it’s safe to say I was run down. I was a ticking time bomb on aching legs, a twitching right eye and uncontrollable sarcasm.

Jumping on the train at a busy London terminal, I was looking forward to heading home and hitting the hay; switching on the radio and falling asleep pretty much straightaway.

After a delay, due to an electrical fault with the doors, we soon left. Gazing through the window as we whizzed past rolling fields, factories and garden fences, all I could think of was walking through my front door.

So as the train approached my stop, I gathered my things and dutifully let a woman pass with her family, followed by suitcases, push chairs and passengers….Here’s what happened…..

The train doors refused to open.

There was no green light, no piercing sound of air waiting to grant the release of the doors, no conductor wielding his keys as he muscled through impatient commuters…

No-one knew what to do; it was evident that this was an isolated incident, as people were making their way across the platform and heading for the exit. So I decided to make a bolt for it. As did about 10 others. So as we all scrambled down the carriage as bemused travellers looked on in dismay, it was apparent that this was not going to work out as we had all silently planned.

I heard the whistle, the signal and the sound of the doors locking, and before I knew it, my plan to travel to the land of nod was about to be postponed. Scuppered. Scrapped.

As the train pulled out of the station, there was a collective sound of expletive deletives as the passengers in my carriage vented their frustrations.

About 15 minutes later, I begrudgingly arrived in what looked like a quaint but derelict market town; the kind of place where all the locals drinks in the Railway Tavern, shops close at 6pm and the vast majority of the takeaway merchants are the only ethnic minorities in the area.

To piss on my parade even further, the next train was not due for an hour, so I thought to myself: “Seeing as I’m here, I may as well take a look around…”

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

For some reason or another, I was nearly late back for the train, but luckily I made it. And seeing the conductor who had paced up and down the carriage, smugly fining people and regaling his National Rail knowledge to people who clearly couldn’t give a toss, riled me up. When he asked me for my ticket, he gave me a look as if he was saying, “What are you doing on here”, but that was enough to encourage a expletive-ridden tirade, detailing why he wasn’t going to be shown a ticket and why he is responsible for taking me to a place I had no plans of visiting. Ever.

His feeble attempts to apologise only provided other angry passengers with vitriol, but I felt better. Though a bit embarrassed. I felt like the lead character in my very own sitcom. Everyone was laughing. Definitely at me, and not with me…

But I’ll tell you this-when I got home, four hours after finishing work, my head hit the pillow and sleep never felt so good!

Tagged , , , , ,

“Only Beautiful people need apply…”

Last week I did something I never do. I went back on my word.

After treating this blog like self-regarding rant, complaining about how the industry is sinking quicker than the sand in an egg timer, I knew I had to add a few more lines to my CV to keep it current. So after firing off all those emails, as detailed in a previous post, to my surprise, I was handed my golden ticket- Willy Wonka style -inviting me for a week’s placement on a busy London news desk.

I was pant-wettingly excited; my shorthand was going to get used, the news triangle had never looked so good, all those shirt and tie sets were finally going to get worn…

Shuffling my way down one of London’s most exclusive streets, that unsettling feeling began to kick in. The possibility of having to carry out vox pops and type up press releases became overwhelming.

Arriving at the plush, high-tech newsroom, it was apparent that I wasn’t  the person they were expecting. I’m not sure why but there seemed to be an element of surprise, like I was ‘Jack’ and the office was the ‘Box’.

It was a really mixed week. I felt like I didn’t show my capabilities. Maybe I wasn’t given the chance. Or perhaps I didn’t seize the opportunity. Hmmm.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

After doing the obligatory work experience jobs, like re-writing press releases, doing a vox pop or two, telephone interviews - *sigh* - I got to leave the office. Following a senior reporter, we went to South London where we were granted an audience with the Mayor, Boris Johnson. He’s just like what you imagine him to be; excitable, bumbling and fiercely intelligent. We later accompanied him to a stop and search operation nearby, complete with a fleet of cars and security guards…the whole shebang. No expense was spared.

I also got to go to the High Court to interview some peace campaigners who were challenging an injunction over their ‘village’  in Parliament Square. Campaigners are one thing, but spotty gap, year students, complete with dodgy Camden Lock  attire and names like ‘Josh Soul’ are something else.

Try knowing what you’re talking about before you bore speak to a newspaper reporter. Just for future reference, yeah?

Watching the Cumbria shootings unfold in real-time was exciting-exciting in a way that only a journalist can understand….that sudden rush of adrenalin when a major story breaks. It’s a race against time to get the story finished in time for when the newspaper goes to press. I had the ‘envious’ task of phoning practically every business on the killer’s trail, trying to get a reaction from shocked locals. Trust me, it was hard.

The vast majority of the reporters were nice and approachable; going out of their way to introduce themselves to me, finding out a little bit about me, what I’ve done, where I want to go, sharing some wise words, hints and tips etc. That diminished that weird feeling, but not completely.

But there were some who were far too important to say hello or acknowledge my existence and my enthusiasm for the unpaid life, but made sure they would look over to see what I was doing and then look away when I happened to catch their gaze. Nice. (Because it’s not like you’ve been in my position before is it? Cos I’m pretty sure you didn’t rock into that position overnight? ‘Yagetme?

At the end of the week I didn’t know what to think. That pant-wetting excitement had quickly disapperared as I settled in. I was no longer excited. But damp.

That age-old debate of the industry being middle-classed silently reared its ugly head, and I was forced to take notice.

The glass ceiling exists. Whether I like it or not. 

I’ve got a few more bricks since the last time, but I still can’t smash the ruddy thing.

The ‘highlight’ of the  week was when I was asked to do a second vox pop….I asked if they wanted me to get a cross-section of people-you know-to represent the capital. And they said no. Slightly bemused, I asked why:

“Because we only put good-looking people in the newspaper. You know, attractive people…”

Welcome to my life guys.

♫ Jay-Z Feat. Pharrell – So Ambitious.

Tagged , , , ,
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 398 other followers